To degauss: to remove unwanted magnetism in order to correct some sort of disturbance.
Twenty-something. Graduate student. Musician. Martial Artist. 90s Kid. ENTP. My life is not my own.
It’s much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
1) My mom hates my tattoo and made me feel bad about getting it. 2) I think I’m starting to realize that the past two years have been a waste of time. 3) I feel empty and alone after leaving So ILL. I do not have a home and I feel more lost than ever.
Here’s to the beginning of the semester.
When I was young,
I thought the love of my life would come
swooping out of the night and into my arms.
I wondered if he’d be the new boy in class,
or the one to move in next door.
You see, I read so many books as a little girl,
all full of star-crossed lovers.
Romeos and Juliets, Bonnies and Clydes,
all the most unsuspecting victims.
So, when you piqued my curiosity, I’d try you on.
"You never know who you could end up marrying"
But test run after test run resulted in a laundry list of names,
and faces I too frequently check up on.
I refuse to let go, not because I loved them,
but because they reassure me.
They make me believe that I’m worth something,
that I got picked and that I won.
They are all trophies, stacked up neatly on the mantle of my mind,
proving to me that I am wanted.
And I still I refuse to dismantle my own alter.
And the black hole descends.
So frequently I stop and look around only to learn again that this is not where my heart is at home.
Why am I so emotionally unstable? Like, it’s amazing that I haven’t alienated or destroyed half the people in my life. For those of you whom I consider friends, thank you.