To degauss: to remove unwanted magnetism in order to correct some sort of disturbance.
Twenty-something. Graduate student. Musician. Martial Artist. 90s Kid. ENTP. My life is not my own.

 

Jack says he loves the winter here,

'Cause these are days when everyone's as miserable as him,

Josh says it smells like cheap beer and loathing here,
It could be the van, but it’s probably just his breath,

Max dropped out of college,
But he likes to say he finished,
He’s working back home with his dad,
He and Kevin got matching tattoo’s of their initials,
And three X’s down their legs.

Well I’ve got like-minded dudes in Detroit or Vancouver,
Newport, Boca and Brum,
I don’t know where I am,
But I know where I came from,

So everyone moved in with their girlfriends,
In one-bedroom apartments,
In the town that we grew up in and,
All my friends are in bar bands,
I don’t know how it happened,
I hope it pays the rent,
And still there’s some days
when I don’t think that we’ll ever see Dave again

Justin’s working three jobs just to stay ahead,
Spiro lied about his major,
But it’s working out for him,
Nick and Richie got a place together by the train station,

I’ve spent twenty-two years just wading through bullshit and hey,
It’s worked so far,
I don’t know why I’m here,
But I know who my friends are.

So everyone moved in with their girlfriends,
In one-bedroom apartments,
In the town that we grew up in and,
All my friends are in bar bands,
I don’t know how it happened,
I hope it pays the rent,
And still there’s some days 
when I don’t think that we’ll ever see Dave again

I’m not sad anymore,
I’m just tired of this place,
And if this year would just end,
I think we’d all be okay

We moved on again, We’re not wasting away

I’m not sad anymore,
I’m just tired of this place,
And if this year would just end,
I think we’d all be okay.

 

(Source: Spotify)

It’s much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality. 

I’ve been thinking about death a lot lately.

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1) My mom hates my tattoo and made me feel bad about getting it. 2) I think I’m starting to realize that the past two years have been a waste of time. 3) I feel empty and alone after leaving So ILL. I do not have a home and I feel more lost than ever.

Here’s to the beginning of the semester.

Trophies

When I was young,

I thought the love of my life would come

swooping out of the night and into my arms.

I wondered if he’d be the new boy in class,

or the one to move in next door.

You see, I read so many books as a little girl,

all full of star-crossed lovers.

Romeos and Juliets, Bonnies and Clydes,

all the most unsuspecting victims.

So, when you piqued my curiosity, I’d try you on.

"You never know who you could end up marrying"

But test run after test run resulted in a laundry list of names,

and faces I too frequently check up on.

I refuse to let go, not because I loved them,

but because they reassure me.

They make me believe that I’m worth something,

that I got picked and that I won.

They are all trophies, stacked up neatly on the mantle of my mind,

proving to me that I am wanted.

And I still I refuse to dismantle my own alter. 

modgurl:

Proverbs 31 Woman

I feel that I am now farther than ever from this. Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner. I hope there is patience in heaven for my slowness to act and grace for my rebellious, stubborn heart.

modgurl:

Proverbs 31 Woman

I feel that I am now farther than ever from this. Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner. I hope there is patience in heaven for my slowness to act and grace for my rebellious, stubborn heart.

So frequently I stop and look around only to learn again that this is not where my heart is at home.

Why am I so emotionally unstable? Like, it’s amazing that I haven’t alienated or destroyed half the people in my life. For those of you whom I consider friends, thank you.